The Day I Burnt Toast and Made Chili Instead

Alright, settle in—I’ve got a slow cooker chili recipe for you that’s seen me through snow days, last-minute guests, and at least one kitchen disaster (don’t ever toast white bread on high—unless you fancy setting off your smoke alarm at 7am). Honestly, this chili is my culinary safety net—it comes together so effortlessly, I sometimes forget I’m actually cooking, not just waiting for dinner to magically appear. The first time I made it, I ran out of cumin and substituted taco seasoning. Not my proudest moment, but, y’know, it somehow worked okay? Anyway, let me tell you how I make it these days (no more burnt toast included).

Why I Keep Coming Back to This Chili

I make this when I’ve got a busy day ahead—or when I absolutely cannot stand the idea of washing a mountain of pans. My family goes wild for this stuff (even my youngest, who claims to hate beans, always asks for seconds…), and it’s one of those dishes that kind of gets better the longer it sits in the fridge (if it ever makes it that far—usually not). One thing, though: I never seem to make it exactly the same way twice. Sometimes it’s a little more spicy, other times I dial back the heat (learned the hard way after an incident with extra chipotle…). And hey, nothing beats coming home to the smell of dinner already done—beats takeout any day.

The Ingredients List (And My Many Swaps)

500g (about a pound) ground beef – or turkey if you want it lean, or even crumbled tofu—done that on Meatless Monday.
1 big onion, chopped (or half if you’re not an onion person—I won’t judge).
2-3 cloves garlic, minced. My friend Sarah swears by the pre-chopped stuff, but I find it a bit… gummy? Still works in a pinch, though.
1-2 bell peppers, diced up—red, green, or the wrinkly one you need to use up—nobody cares once it’s cooked.
2 cans (400g each) diced tomatoes. If you happen to have fresh, that’s great—just chop them up, juice and all.
2 cans beans (kidney, black, or pinto), drained and rinsed. Honestly, use whatever is in your cupboard.
2 tbsp chili powder (or a good taco seasoning blend if you’re feeling reckless)
1 tbsp ground cumin. My grandma would say this is essential; I’ve left it out once, and it’s still edible? But better with.
1 tsp smoked paprika (or sweet—I honestly can barely tell the difference half the time…)
Salt & pepper – just eyeball it, unless you’re feeling scientific.
Optional: 1 tsp chipotle paste, a splash of beer, a square of dark chocolate (yep—it adds richness, promise)

How I Actually Cook This (With a Few Tangents)

Get a frying pan nice and hot; brown the beef in batches if you want that deep flavor, or just chuck it all in at once if you’re in a rush (I’ve done both—no one complained).
Drain off the fat—don’t skip this step or your chili’ll be swimming by the end. Then tip it into your slow cooker.
Add in all your chopped veg (this is where I usually sneak a taste of the pepper—raw, but hard to resist), tomatoes, beans, and spices. Just throw them all in, stir well.
If you’re adding beer (do it!), splash in about half a bottle now. Chocolate? Nestle it into the mix. Don’t worry if it looks a bit weird at this stage—it’ll all sort itself out.
Put the lid on, set to low for 7-8 hours, or high for 4-ish hours if you’re short on time. Don’t peek too often—unless you like fogged-up glasses.
After about 6 hours, I usually give it a stir and a little taste (well, more than a little). Adjust seasoning, maybe add more salt. Sometimes I find it needs a tiny bit of sugar if the tomatoes are too tinny.
Serve hot, with whatever you fancy. Tortilla chips, bread, plain rice—we’re not fussy round here.

Notes That Come From Trial, Error, and a Little Luck

One time I forgot the beans until the very end—turns out, you can just microwave them and stir them in. Nobody noticed.
Actually, it thickens up a lot after sitting, so if it looks too soupy at first—don’t panic!
I think this tastes even better on day two (just don’t tell my family, or there won’t be leftovers for me).

Variations I’ve Tried—The Good, The Bad, and The Mildly Regrettable

Sweetcorn gives it a bit of crunch and sweetness (tried it on a whim, and… pretty nice!).
I once added chunks of sweet potato—delicious, makes it almost stew-like.
I attempted a white bean, chicken, and kale version, but, eh, everyone said it tasted like “healthy food”—not quite what I was aiming for!
Don’t be afraid to go absurdly heavy with extra toppings. Sour cream, spring onions, cheddar—more is more.

What You Really Need For This (And What You Don’t)

slow cooker (mine’s a battered old one—you can read some honest slow cooker reviews on Serious Eats if you fancy an upgrade)
A frying pan for browning (or skip it if you really can’t be bothered – but you’ll lose a bit of flavor)
A decent knife—though, truth be told, I’ve been known to use kitchen scissors for the peppers. Whatever works.

How I Store Leftovers (When There Are Any…)

I just bung it into an old plastic container, toss it in the fridge—keeps for 3-4 days. It freezes well too; just pour it into a zip bag once it’s cooled. But honestly, in my house it never lasts more than a day! Oh, and sometimes the beans get a bit mushy after freezing, but not the end of the world.

How We Serve It (And the Great Cornbread Debate)

I love mine with a giant wedge of homemade cornbread (or toasted white bread if I’ve run out), plus a dollop of Greek yoghurt and those crispy fried onions you get in a jar. My partner adds hot sauce, my kids chuck in cheese; family tradition says you must argue about toppings.

Little Nuggets I Wish I’d Known Earlier

I once tried rushing the browning and ended up with sad, gray beef—take your time, it does pay off.
If you forget to drain the beans…you’ll get a weird, almost muddy taste. Don’t ask me how I know. Actually, you probably already guessed how I know.
If you’re not sure about the spice level, start mild and add heat at the end—it’s easier to fix a bland chili than one that blows your socks clean off.

Some Actual Reader (and Friend) Questions

Can I double this recipe? Oh for sure—just make sure your slow cooker’s got space, or things might bubble over and make a right mess (spoken from experience…)

Do I need to brown the meat first? Technically, you don’t have to, but it adds flavor. However, if you forget (I have!), toss it in anyway. Chili’s forgiving that way.

Will it work with just one type of bean? Absolutely! I’m not bean-ist. Any will do; the variety’s mostly for texture.

Can I make it on the stovetop? Yup, just simmer in a big pot for about 1.5 hours, stirring occasionally so it doesn’t catch. (I sometimes use this guide from The Kitchn for stovetop chili ideas.)

And, since someone once asked: “Will my dog like this?”…No clue, but I’d skip the onion and garlic just to be safe!

Oh—a completely unrelated note, but last time I made chili, my neighbor popped in to borrow a cup of rice and left with half my batch of chili instead. So watch out—this recipe has a way of bringing people together, whether you mean to or not.

Slow Cooker Chili Recipe